Cosmic Chill from April 6–12, 2025
The stars are hazy (from good smoke, obviously), and the energy this week is all about mental expansion, mellow connections, and slow-motion good times. Mercury’s still retrograde, so expect random nostalgia, high thoughts that go too deep, and lost lighters in weird places. Luckily, we’ve got weed pairings and snack saviors to guide each sign through it.
🔥 Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Strain: Trainwreck – Because chaos is your comfort zone.
Snack: Flamin’ Hot Cheetos
Song: “Break On Through” – The Doors
Lucky Numbers: 3, 18, 36
You’re feeling like a rocket this week, Aries. Burn bright, but don’t crash and combust. Trainwreck matches your intense energy, but remember to hydrate between rants.
🌿 Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Strain: GMO Cookies – Heavy, dank, and perfect for your chill mode.
Snack: Garlic breadsticks with cheese
Song: “Dream On” – Aerosmith
Lucky Numbers: 4, 12, 33
You’re in slow-mo, Taurus, and that’s exactly where the stars want you. Skip the drama and lean into your inner stoner sage. Also, carbs? Yes.
🌬️ Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Strain: Lemon Haze – Bright and buzzy for your chatty vibe.
Snack: Sour gummy worms
Song: “You Really Got Me” – The Kinks
Lucky Numbers: 5, 17, 21
Expect plot twists midweek—Mercury is messing with your brainwaves. Lean into the chaos, Gemini. Lemon Haze’ll keep your thoughts sunny when the Wi-Fi of life lags.
🌊 Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Strain: Ice Cream Cake – Sweet and introspective.
Snack: Cookie dough ice cream
Song: “Let It Be” – The Beatles
Lucky Numbers: 7, 14, 40
You’re floating on emotional tides this week, Cancer. Let the feels flow. Ice Cream Cake is your emotional support strain—let it carry you through every Netflix tearjerker.
🔥 Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Strain: Super Silver Haze – Energizing and dazzling.
Snack: Gold-dusted truffle popcorn (or just say it is)
Song: “Don’t Stop Me Now” – Queen
Lucky Numbers: 1, 10, 22
You’re on stage this week—even if the audience is just your pets. Shine bright, roar loud, and puff on that Super Silver Haze to keep your sparkle lit.
🌿 Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Strain: ACDC (High CBD) – For when your brain won’t chill.
Snack: Mixed nuts and precision-cut apple slices
Song: “Brain Damage” – Pink Floyd
Lucky Numbers: 6, 13, 25
You’ve got analysis paralysis, Virgo. Microdose your weed and your worries. ACDC will relax the inner monologue that’s running at 12 tabs open. Breathe in, chill out.
🌬️ Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Strain: Mimosa – Balanced, sociable, and tasty as hell.
Snack: Strawberry crepes
Song: “Peace of Mind” – Boston
Lucky Numbers: 2, 16, 31
Social scenes are calling, and you’re ready to float into them with vibes and vapor. Mimosa keeps you balanced when decisions get dicey—like choosing toppings.
🌊 Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Strain: Forbidden Fruit – Dark, sweet, and mysterious.
Snack: Dark chocolate-covered cherries
Song: “Black Dog” – Led Zeppelin
Lucky Numbers: 9, 11, 37
You’re extra intense this week—no surprise there. Forbidden Fruit gives you the moody edge you love without sending you full cryptid. Use your magnetism wisely.
🔥 Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Strain: Alaskan Thunder F* (ATF)** – Wild and wanderlusty.
Snack: Spicy beef jerky and mango slices
Song: “Radar Love” – Golden Earring
Lucky Numbers: 8, 15, 34
You’re vibing with chaos and craving a change of scenery. Roll up something strong, blast your road trip playlist, and chase the horizon—even if it’s just to 7-Eleven.
🌿 Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Strain: Bubba Kush – Heavy, grounding, and built for decompression.
Snack: Salted pretzels and dark roast coffee
Song: “Smoke on the Water” – Deep Purple
Lucky Numbers: 6, 23, 30
You’re working too hard again (shock!). Bubba Kush is your permission slip to shut the laptop and melt into your couch. You’ve earned this couch-lock, friend.
🌬️ Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Strain: Chernobyl – Electric, creative, and borderline interdimensional.
Snack: Freeze-dried space snacks or sour punch straws
Song: “Time” – Pink Floyd
Lucky Numbers: 0, 19, 38
Your thoughts this week are WILD. Good news: the stars say lean into it. Light up Chernobyl and write that screenplay, build that robot, or decode alien messages.
🌊 Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Strain: Purple Punch – Dreamy, floaty, and mystical.
Snack: Cosmic brownies and Capri Sun
Song: “A Whiter Shade of Pale” – Procol Harum
Lucky Numbers: 7, 20, 27
You’re tuned into the dreamworld more than usual (which is saying a lot). Purple Punch will cradle you gently as you vibe out, paint something weird, or astral project.
Puff, pass, and prosper. The stars are baked and so are you. See you next week, stargazers! 😎
